


Too Much Heart

by Jessi221b



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:58:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessi221b/pseuds/Jessi221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel watches as all of heavens angels fall. Dean finds him and takes him back to the bunker, where he bathes Cas and they cuddle in bed!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tumblr followers](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tumblr+followers).



> So, this is my first Destiel fan fiction, not much effort put into it. just something i wanted to write so i wouldn't be so out of practice with writing. Comments are very welcome! This is right after the angels fall in the last episode of season 8, "Sacrifice".

It was all such a blur. Castiel looked up at the black sky, illuminated by holy light disintegrating. Castiel watched as the angels fell, as his family burned. Because of him, because no matter how hard he tried to swim, he always drowned. Castiel’s problem was, in fact, that he had too much heart. He always failed everyone, in the end.  
Castiel stood there, immobilized, awed by the magnitude of his complete and utter failure to redeem himself to his family. His family, the family he failed, slaughtered, destroyed.  
Then, like a razor, the realization of his previous actions hit him. Castiel suddenly started moving too much. Shaking or trembling, if you prefer. His eyes glazed as his tears trickled down his cheek and fell off his chin. His hands were so unstable. He was so unstable. He sank to his knees, still staring at the sky, and he broke for what seemed like the hundredth time. Being human meant he could feel more, more than an angel. And watching what his ignorance caused wrecked him. All these feelings flooded him, as if he were a dam waiting to be overflowed. His heart hurt, it ached with a burn that had no mercy, no sympathy. Castiel wanted to scream, but he couldn’t, a part of him still paralyzed.  
"Shit" Dean muttered as he saw Cas on the ground, ruined and shattered like China glass. "Cas!" Dean ran towards Cas not wanting his friend to be alone, to feel guilty. As Dean neared Cas he could hear him whining, his silent cry on the verge of transforming into a pained yell. Dean went on his knees and gently picked up Cas trying to calm him, to hold him close. Cas, frightened and unaware, hastily retreated from Dean, fear deep in his electric fragile eyes. Recognition dawned in Cas’ eyes, and they both stood. They were 5 feet away from each other… too far away. Cas lunged at Dean, simultaneously wrapping his arms around Dean and placing his face in the crook of Dean’s neck.  
Dean was shocked but automatically hugged back, comforting Cas because he needed it desperately. Cas feeling as though he could now be weak, howled. He screamed, making his eyes crinkle as his mouth stretched unbearably. He spoke nothing, only expressed his anger, his melancholy. Dean rubbed circles on his back, and grasping the fact that Cas was still shuddering, Dean sang. “Hey Jude, don’t make it bad, take a sad song and make it better,” Cas calmed a bit, but he was still wailing. His throat would be sore after this, no doubt. “remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better,” Cas tightened his clutch, but his voice faltered and he was slowly stilling. Dean languidly led Cas into a cuddle on the grass. Cas was still tangled to Dean, his head resting on Dean’s shoulder. Dean was sitting, legs outstretched, but intertwined with Cas. Dean pressed his lips to Cas’ ears and held his head with one hand whilst still rubbing his back. Dean began to rock.  
Back and forth,  
"Hey Jude, don’t be afraid, you were made to go out and get her,"  
back and forth  
“the minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better.”  
back and forth  
“and anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude refrain, don’t carry the world on your shoulders.”  
back and forth.  
Cas was too weary to walk, so when he was quiet Dean wiped his tears, and kissed the corners of his eyes. Dean wouldn’t have allowed a chick-flick moment like this to even cross his mind, but this was Cas and Cas needed him.  
"Dean.."  
"Shh Cas, it’s alright. I got you. It’s okay, Cas" Dean’s voice was weak. He didn’t like seeing Cas like this, all broken. Contrary to what he said before, he cared if Cas was broken, and always would. Cas gripped Dean tight, like when he raised him from perdition, when he saved Dean. Now it was Dean’s turn

Cas took Dean to the bathroom and ignored Sam’s stunned face when he walked through the entrance of The Men of Letters bunker carrying Cas bridal-style. “Is he ok?” asked Sam concerned, but obviously still in pain from the last trial. “Yeah, I’ll tell you what happened later, i just…” Dean didn’t know what he was going to say or do. How the hell do you take care of a fricking fallen angel?  
"I um"  
"Yeah, i know. Call me if you need any help"  
"Yeah, i will" but Dean wouldn’t bother Sam, not after what he just went through. Sam was still sweating, pale with sunken eyes. He looked like Death.  
Cas was lifeless, eyes glossy with tears. Dean walked towards him and wiped his tears, and then cupped his cheeks.  
"Cas, i"m gonna bathe you, okay?" Cas barely nodded and Dean began removing Cas’ clothes. When Cas was fully naked the bath was already full. Dean lifted Cas and gently led him into the tub. The moment Cas was inside, he lifted his knees, hugged them, and hid his face from the world. Dean hummed and would occasionally stroke Cas and feel him, just to feel him. Then, when he finished washing the shampoo out of Cas’ hair, Dean turned Cas and tilted his face up. Cas looked into Dean’s eyes so lost and confused. So terrified. Dean pressed his forehead to Cas’ still cupping his cheeks.  
"Cas, you’re sleeping in my bed tonight."  
"Dean, i-"  
"You’re not leaving, Cas. I won’t let you. I-"  
"Dean, you don’t have to do this, this is all my fault. I’m a disgrace, I deserve to die-"  
Dean cut Cas off and leaned in, effectively closing the unnecessary distance between them. Cas was unresponsive, but so was Dean. Dean was so scared, so new to this, but this was Cas and Cas was different. Dean ended the kiss, Cas was obviously hurting more.  
"Dean, my heart hurts,"  
"Yeah, Cas I’ll make it better."  
"I’m almost positive you are the cause of it."  
Dean chuckled, because that sounded like Cas, his Cas.  
"Don’t worry, this hurt is a good type of hurt."  
"I do not understand your definition."  
Dean smiled sadly, wiped Cas, and was about to lead him to his bedroom, when Cas clasped Dean’s forearm. Cas kissed Dean, lightly tracing his chest, and Dean pulled him closer. They stayed there for a while, silently kissing each other, until Dean stroked cas’ hair and pulled him into bed. Cas was wearing Dean’s Led Zeppelin T-shirt, and red plaid pj bottoms that hugged his hips.  
They laid in bed, staring at each other, arms and legs tangled. Chests flushed together. Dean caressed Cas’ cheek.  
"Dean, my heart still hurts. I need you."  
"No, Cas, I think it means you love me." Dean waggled his eyebrows and smirked.  
Cas, for the first time grinned a full grin, and then sighed with a slight tremor.  
"I suppose it does" Cas kissed Dean once more, and before drifting off to sleep, he rested his head on Dean’s chest.  
"I love you too, Cas" Dean slurred as he nuzzled into Cas’ tousled black hair. Cas held him tighter showing he heard Dean.  
"Good, i prefer my love not be unrequited."  
Dean laughed “Never, Cas.” Dean patted Cas’ back and cuddled him tightly. Cas made the sound of a dying cow, showing his discomfort, and Dean simpered as he planted a kiss on Cas’ forehead.  
What ultimately lulled Cas to sleep though, was the steady rhythm of Dean’s heartbeat.


End file.
